You are not bad, You are just ill

Beside presence of desirable personalities there are some undesirable personalities around us. And whether we admit it or not this undesirable personality either directly or indirectly influences our thought process and compels us to think about them against our wish. But the point is, whether we can avoid this from happening or not. Stimulating a strong hatred within our hearts that does no harm to the person but to our-self. Sometimes we just forget who we are in the dominance of this hatred.

The question here arises, whether we are bound to experience this feelings against them or not.

To get the answer to this question let me tell you about one such person whom I know and what I experienced and how things changed.

About four years ago I met this person, and in-fact we became good friends until I got to know him closely and found out that he was suffering from a kind of psychological condition. Being desperate for showing off and ones status in the peoples mind, as well as constantly trying to dominate over others. Some of his characteristic features were, bragging, sarcasm, over- confident, lacking morality, womaniser and somewhat foulmouthed.

Although he had an interesting way of starting a conversation that gathered the attention and interests but as the time proceeded his complete character unfolded itself. While for some of you his characteristics must appear normal but they were the outcome of the experience he had in his past. No doubt he was alone from within, but he found out a way to show his loneliness as his own choice. He bragged because he feared his status among others will fade by time, he was sarcastic because he feared he might fail in this competitive scenario, he was over-confident because he feared his confidence level might fall, he lacked morality because he feared that if he acts morally, other may suppress him, he was womaniser because he feared his masculinity (and ultimately his reputation) could get challenged, he was foul mouthed because he feared he lack sufficient knowledge in the topic of conversation. Overall he was struggling with the fear of loosing himself in war of making existence. Although he was somewhat successful in that struggle, as his undesirable(desirable for some of you) characters gained its position among the minds of the people around him including me as well. And whether you liked it or not you were bound to think about his actions and comments, which does't made any sense.

May be he experienced something worse in his life, or may be he is still facing the same and is broken from within but he is struggling hard to show us the face of strength and the attitude of carelessness against the feelings of others. But deep within he does cares for others but fears that others might consider it as femininity type characters.

While he was at war with his inner fear of being lost, we hated him for his undesirable characters. The world where we were struggling against the world, he was struggling against his own fear.

Even I had this feeling of hate for him against his characters but then I realized it is not what it seems to be. He is not what he mean to be. After knowing him from within he was a matter of pity for me and that's what changed my concept for everything.

Even for some of my readers, who possess these characters, please don't consider it against you because what you feel is not the exact thing you are facing. There might be someone who cares for you, someone who understands you, someone who loves you. And you under the influence of the fear within you are hurting that someone, please don't loose that someone from your life because they can help you in your struggle. Try to see things differently there is always another way look for something. 

While in my case, the sequential events that occurred in my life regarding him was somewhat dramatic. I met him, We became friends, He tried to dominate, We had conflict, I hated him, He remained same, Now I have pity for him. And I am really sorry for I am unable to do anything  for him.

But what I learned from him was never fall apart and ignore the demolising and sarcastic statement as well as personalities. Never let them influence you, have strong psychology in yourself. And the most important never hate anyone "the world is too small for hate".

As for all my readers, I need your comments to understand this game of psychology more deeply and I will let you know how it works and how it can be influenced.